Reclaim You- Navigating All That Comes With The College Experience
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On today's podcast Sarah is introducing a new Reclaim Therapist, Ashley Fox!
Ashley comes to Reclaim with experience working in a college counseling center. On today's episode Sarah and Ashley are talking all about the college experience and ways to navigate the many transitions that college students face.
From new roommates and academics to dining halls, defining your values and the freshman 15, today's episode is covering a lot!
Thanks for listening to Reclaim You with Reclaim Therapy!
To learn more about Reclaim Therapy and how to work with a therapist on the team, head to https://www.reclaimtherapy.org.
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Sarah (00:00)
Hey everybody. Welcome back to Reclaim You. I'm so excited today to introduce Ashley Fox. Ashley is a new clinician that joined our practice about a month ago. And yeah, I'm super excited that she's here today and she's going to be joining us in rotating through topics on the podcast. So hey Ashley.
Ashley Fox (00:22)
Hi, I'm excited to be here. Thank you.
Sarah (00:24)
Yeah, yeah, so Ashley is coming to us with experience working at a college counseling center. And so she is working with lots of folks struggling with disordered eating and body image concerns, trauma, all of the things. So yeah, just super psyched that she's here and she's joining the practice, well, she's joined the practice and she's joining the pod. And yeah, so I'd love to get started asking the same thing I ask everyone. What does reclaim you mean to you?
Ashley Fox (00:53)
I think when I first think about it, I think of just kind of the general idea of like taking back what has been taken away from you, whether it's, you know, society, family, friends, something that's been taken away. and I think recently with my clients, when I've been thinking of like reclaiming them and reclaiming you in terms of them, I think a lot of just like coming back to yourself and who you are at your core without all of those external factors and without trying to fit in, without trying to be someone else, like who
you truly are, which I think gets away from us all the times, especially with disorder dating and trauma. So getting back to that and like kind of their values and that type of thing.
Sarah (01:30)
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like the past couple of weeks Abby said something similar with authenticity and then Casey said something similar with authenticity. So yeah, it feels like a good theme to kind of carry us in to this season of the podcast. Yeah. So Ashley, tell us a little bit before we dive in today's episode. We're talking all about college transitions and things like that. But before that, just if you could share with everyone like who you're loving working with.
Ashley Fox (01:45)
Yeah.
Sarah (01:59)
what you're doing in the practice, all of those cool things.
Ashley Fox (02:03)
Yeah. I currently, a lot of my clients are coming in with disordered eating, a lot of teens and young adults. And I think a lot of the clients that I really enjoy working with are like those first timers and giving them that positive experience. Whether they come in like having preconceived notions about therapy or maybe they had a negative experience in the past and didn't like vibe with their therapist, kind of giving them the opportunity to like speak up in sessions and check in with them and
I've really been loving that aspect of giving them like as good of an experience as I can.
Sarah (02:36)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, so like reclaiming the therapy experience. Big on the word reclaim, yeah. Amazing, amazing. So let's dive into the topic today and just talking a lot, like I said, a lot about college students and transitions and navigating coming home for the summer and maybe going to school for the first time or going back to school.
Ashley Fox (02:40)
Mm -hmm. Yes.
Sarah (02:59)
With college students and young adults, there's like so many transitions that happen that it can be so hard to find your footing in feeling stable in lots of areas of life. So where should we start? Should we start with stressors during transitions that could contribute to eating disorder behaviors? Yeah.
Ashley Fox (03:18)
Yeah. I think I'm just picturing like going through the process of college and like kind of going through when you first start, then there's all of these breaks and then like semester changes and then coming back for the summer and the cycle is just repeating. So I think first going into college, like the biggest change is just that change in like, usually you're living with someone new and adjusting to all of these different things.
along with like the academic obvious changes, there's that whole change in where you're living and who you're living with. And that can really impact your eating habits. So I feel like, especially the dining hall, like there's just that preconceived idea anyway of like dining hall food sucks and it's terrible and there's nothing that you want. And even just like the hours of the dining hall, not having access to food I think can really contribute to those disordered eating behaviors and
kind of feeling like you have to go with someone else or feeling like, I have an 8 a class, I'm not going to eat before class and then skipping that meal and like how are you supposed to keep up with your academic performance in that aspect. So I think that living environment, that first adjustment can be really challenging.
Sarah (04:30)
Yeah, for sure.
Thinking back to when I first went to college, I feel like I was maybe a weird one where I was like so excited there was a dining hall. I was like, whoa, all this different type of food. I moved to Philly from far away. So it was like all things that I feel like I didn't have access to. But yeah, so like the dining hall, the hours, especially if you're coming from an environment where things are relatively stable and someone's supporting you and, you know, with prepared meals and maybe you've never really had to choose before and then being faced with maybe scary options.
Ashley Fox (04:38)
Yeah.
you
Sarah (05:02)
or options that you never have been exposed to. And just the decision fatigue that can come along with standing in a line at a dining hall, if that's still how it works, and being like, well, what do I get? What do I want? What do I like?
Yeah.
Yeah. And then with the living environment and transitioning to living with someone new, let's talk about that a little bit, like navigating.
It's kind of like this, it can be this opportunity to reclaim who you are along those lines of showing up authentically or a lot of people think you have a hard time with that when they first go to school. I know that I did. I was like, crap, I have to, like I know no one. I have to make all new friends and how do I do that? And who am I? And what if no one likes me? And you feel so lonely. So how do you navigate that?
Ashley Fox (05:49)
Yeah, I feel like you're in this whole new environment with all these new people. Well, maybe you know no one except for this like random roommate that you're paired with. So I feel like sometimes it's like, I'm going to cling on to this person or I met this person at orientation. I'm going to cling on to them. So learning how to like break out of that and like increasing that confidence, even if it is, okay, I'm going to go to the dining hall without my roommate or without that friend that I made, or I'm going to go join a club by myself. Like there's
I know it's like kind of cliche that everyone promotes all these things on college campuses, but it really is true to like help you break out of your shell, help you meet those like -minded people that maybe you had in high school that you don't have yet on campus.
Sarah (06:32)
Yeah, yeah. And I'm thinking about even the transition home for the summer because I know a lot of the folks that you're working with now and some of my clients too are home for the summer from school and that transition from even like getting settled into a routine with dining halls and food and friends and then the transition home can be also very jarring. So what's in that, that transition back home and how it can be like whiplash in a way.
Ashley Fox (07:03)
Yeah, yeah, like kind of constant whiplash of always coming home, always going to school. I feel like even the changes in like classes, like you get used to, okay, I have lunch at this time, I have dinner at this time, I have a break here. And then going back home, kind of like readjusting to your family's patterns again can be hard. Maybe you're finally like, I can sleep in now, I can do this now. And feeling like you want to just like, relax and breathe.
but keeping up with some type of structure, whether that's just structuring your day around meals or around your summer job and that type of thing and kind of maintaining some type of structure as hard as that is.
Sarah (07:41)
Yeah, it can be really hard, but also the structure prevents you from feeling like a free fall, right? And aimlessly navigating your days and not knowing, because that can bring on a whole other bala something.
Ashley Fox (07:56)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (07:57)
Yeah. And what about, so I know a lot of people who are going to school, maybe most people, I don't even know how to quantify it, but the dreaded, right, the term, the dreaded freshman 15. Yeah. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.
Ashley Fox (08:10)
Yeah. I feel like going to school, it was so talked about and it was always in the back of my mind, at least my freshman year, whether it was like people from home talking about it and worrying, how are they gonna perceive me when I get back or people on campus talking about it and that affecting like, how are you viewing your body? How are you viewing your food choices?
How is that affecting your choices in general and how you're living your life every day? And that little voice in the back of your head that's just so often talked about. And that fear of what will people think if I do gain it? And that extreme pressure to maintain.
Sarah (08:56)
Yeah, yeah. And then what comes along with that pressure is often, right, like disordered eating habits, disordered exercise habits, skipping meals. And then there's this ripple effect that happens, right, if you're not feeding yourself well, if you're not engaging in health promoting behaviors, things start to feel not so great for most people.
Ashley Fox (09:18)
Especially in college and then that affecting academics and then that academic stress like cycling into coping with that with disordered eating behaviors and it's just this never ending pressure.
Sarah (09:32)
Yeah, yeah. And I feel so important to call it out as just a product of diet culture, a product, of course, of anti -fattness and fat phobia that
even the idea that like it's dreaded, right? Like people are like, watch out, right? It's this like awful thing. So it's like looking at bodies as an object. It's looking at bodies as pathology and that there's something wrong, which of course are like seeds. And maybe sometimes it's like watering seeds that have already been planted that body change is bad, that certain bodies are wrong. And so, you know, just to kind of like name that, that staying resilient as best as you can to those messages, it is so hard.
in college, right? But it's also so important that like weight gain in college really is like the least important thing in the entire world, right? It's like be with the transition, like find yourself, enjoy your experience, right? Being so hyper focused on your body just pulls you out of your life so much.
Ashley Fox (10:23)
Mm -hmm.
Absolutely.
Ashley Fox (10:40)
I just wish that I had the knowledge that I have now back then and had viewed it in the way that like we just talked about of it's, you know, part of diet culture and it's been like ingrained in us and it's not my value, but society's. And I wish I had just been able to like speak up about that and kind of feel a little bit more empowered.
Sarah (11:03)
Yeah, right, because it does. It takes all the power out of your hands of how you're engaging with your life and puts it into some ideal and marketing and bullshit. Yeah. And that's just making me think about too, and I don't know if I have memories of this from college, but what can happen, especially now with social media, right? Like social media, Facebook came out when I was a freshman in college. So we were like the first wave of Facebook. So of course it's so different now.
Ashley Fox (11:13)
you
Sarah (11:33)
but like the comparisons and the body checking and the disordered behaviors in groups, you know, I'm thinking of maybe if you have, and this is a, I know this is like a curve ball, but if you have any tips for people who are starting to experience like the community of other people dieting or other people body checking, and maybe just like how to stay a bit resilient to that.
Ashley Fox (11:45)
you
Sarah (11:59)
in the college experience, especially in the new college experience, because it's so easy to get sucked into it.
Ashley Fox (12:04)
Yeah, yeah. I think there are two aspects to that, like the social media and then also be like in -person living experience that you're having. So in terms of social media, it's kind of like you're aware of what you're consuming, but ignoring how dangerous it is. So like pointing out, ooh, how do I feel when I see that post or how do I feel when I look at this person's page? And even like one of my favorite things to do is like put the timer on and like limit how long you're on social media because it -
it is such a big part of, you know, a young adult's life and not everyone is ready to fully delete it. So minimizing the impact as best as you can. And then that in -person experience, like really surrounding yourself with people that lift you up. Even if it's something like, you know, you're sharing clothes and you're like living in the same environment, like not doing that and not, that's an easy way to compare. you look like that in that shirt and I look like this.
So really like kind of going back to that reclaim you of like embracing your individuality and who you are.
Sarah (13:09)
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And so much of this, I think it can be so supportive to talk with a therapist about your values, right? And what's important to you in differentiating maybe what you're carrying that's been planted by diet culture and beliefs from family and friends, maybe from high school and things like that, and what's actually yours. Starting kind of sift through those things and externalize what was given to you that you didn't necessarily say, yeah, give me that belief about my body and myself and what's important in life.
Ashley Fox (13:17)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (13:38)
Yeah, yeah. And then what about academic stress? I think about academic stress like while you're in college and then the collapse that can happen when you're home.
Ashley Fox (13:48)
Mm -hmm. Yeah, I think we, a lot of the times, like, it's kind of that value. Like, academics can be at the very, very top of your list, especially you're in college that is usually the, like, main reason that you're there getting your degree, learning what you finally want to learn instead of those, like, gen ed classes. And then, you know, building up all this confidence of maybe grades for relationships with professors and classmates and...
Sarah (14:07)
Yeah
Ashley Fox (14:14)
connections and everything else that you're doing in college, and then going home for the summer break where there's nothing anymore. So how are you, you know, identifying your worth and what are you putting those values in anymore? Like, what do you have at home and kind of finding something else? Because a lot of times it does turn to your body and body image and summer is an easy time to fall into that trap.
Sarah (14:40)
sure for sure yeah so hard it's so hard
Ashley Fox (14:44)
you
Sarah (14:45)
Yeah, I'm thinking about, I think there was another episode, I can't remember how long ago, but a while ago, I think Laura and I were talking about the idea of like control and eating disorders and this like grasp for what a lot of people see as control, but flipping it into like this grasp for like containment and safety and structure, even if we don't necessarily know that's what we're grasping for. So kind of zooming out and thinking like, what am I actually needing that I'm trying to achieve through these behaviors or whether it's academics or food?
And I think it can be perfectionism is a thing that we see a lot of, whichever avenue it's going.
Ashley Fox (15:24)
Mm -hmm. Definitely.
Sarah (15:26)
Okay, so all of these transitions, the hardness that is college and like launching into young adulthood, home, school, all of those things. So what can be helpful for folks who are going to school, coming home for the summer, adjusting to like the shifting of classes and schedules and routines? What are your top tips for folks?
Ashley Fox (16:00)
you
Yeah, in terms of like the adjustment and the constant transition, I say, again, like reiterating that creating a schedule is helpful or some type of structure. Even, you know, when you get to the point where you can choose your class schedule, kind of making it as similar as you can, making those times for meals in between and making those breaks for yourself, knowing how many classes can I have in a row before I'm burnt out and being aware of that and creating your schedule around that.
Even like packing snacks or, you know, before you move in your freshman year, having those favorite things in your dorm for easy access when the dining hall is not open or they don't have what you want. Even I love to like pack options in my bag with me. So you don't know if you're going to want salty, sweet chocolate. Like you don't know what you're going to crave in a few hours. So having all of those readily available can be helpful. And then I think.
away from like structure, just when you're on campus, finding that support system that you might've had at home and creating that like home away from home. Those friends that really lift you up, those friends that, you know, don't make you wanna compare yourself, those friends that make you feel good and, you know, you can be yourself around. And then obviously like using those services that are available to you. So whether that's counseling services on campus or...
Finding a virtual therapist, knowing what you need and advocating for that and working towards finding it.
Sarah (17:34)
Yeah, that's so helpful. So helpful. Yeah. Any parting words before we wrap up to folks, especially folks who are maybe home for the summer and they're feeling a little, I don't know, I think it's hard because you can get sucked back into family dynamics and old patterns when you're home for the summer that maybe you had some freedom and space from before. So any, I don't know, any words of wisdom for those folks who are just like in the messiness of summer right now.
Ashley Fox (17:59)
Mm -hmm. Yeah. Go back to your values, what you want. Maybe if you're in recovery, like going back to those reasons why you want to recover and really remembering maybe you made progress during the school year. Going back to that and how you did that and how you overcame obstacles and trying to implement those same strategies during the summer as hard as it can be.
Sarah (18:22)
as hard as it can be. Yeah, yeah, and there's support available, right? There's lots of support. Yeah, so lean on people that can uphold you.
Ashley Fox (18:30)
Mm -hmm.
Sarah (18:32)
Yeah. Okay. All right, everybody. So Ashley has some openings right now. So if you're looking for some support, definitely reach out. Ashley is fabulous and we'd be happy to get you started and set up. But yeah, anything else you feel like you want to add before we wrap up?
Ashley Fox (18:50)
Thank you.
I don't think so. Thank you for having me.
Sarah (18:55)
Yeah, yeah. So Ashley will be back in probably like a month or so and we will, yeah, we'll chat about something different at that point. But yeah, keep us updated if you need anything, reach out for sure and we'll get you hooked up with some support. But okay, until next time everyone, take good care.
Reclaim Therapy is a group of trauma therapists that provides trauma therapy, therapy for eating disorders, EMDR Therapy and Complex PTSD treatment.
Our team is passionate about helping people reclaim their lives from diet culture, body shame and the impact of trauma.
We would love to support you as you Reclaim YOU and the life that you undeniably deserve.