Body Acceptance: How to Accept Weight Gain
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For most people, one of the hardest parts of recovery from an eating disorder and disordered eating is anticipating and experiencing weight gain. Yes, eating disorders and disordered eating behaviors can be tied to so much more than the image and appearance of the body, but the fixation on maintaining and achieving a thin, lean, athletic, ‘healthy’, strong (insert latest #bodygoals here) is a common and painful experience for so many.
There is a fear behind weight gain
The fear of weight gain can be enough for people to put off recovery, continuing to suffer through painful behaviors and holding tight, and grasping for the illusion of control that disordered eating behaviors provide.
There is no way of telling what a body will do when it is fed and nourished adequately. When hunger, fullness, and satiety cues are allowed, accepted, and honored. For many people, regardless of their eating disorder diagnosis, weight gain will happen. And, for most people, it has to happen for their body to begin to trust that it will be fed.
debunking the stigma
Contrary to what we have learned over the years, this isn’t wrong or bad. It’s the way out.
The way out of obsession. Or, the way out of the pain of behaviors. The way out of putting your life on hold.
Hard? Yes.
And, you can do hard things.
So how can you begin to develop body acceptance when weight gain happens?
1. accept that you don’t want to accept weight gain.
If that’s not a practice in neutrality, I don’t know what is!
You don’t have to want to accept weight gain. There are a lot of reasons you’ve resisted it over the years. And that resistance has likely led to spinning your wheels, cycling through familiar thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. Acknowledge that cognitive dissonance, and practice resilience to being drawn back to those familiar thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. You don’t have to like it. But, be curious what kind of freedom lies on the other side.
And grieve. Grieve the loss of what your previous body brought you. The loss of time spent achieving and maintaining. And even the loss of affirmations related to your body size. The containment you may have felt, even if it was fleeting. Grief counseling in Pennsylvania can help you process and develop better body acceptance.
2. understand where your fear of fat comes from.
We live in a culture that is phobic of being fat and becoming fat. A culture that pathologizes and stigmatizes bodies outside of the thin ideal.
Get curious about what you’ve been taught is right or good. What visuals you’ve been bombarded with that have defined a narrow view of beauty.
Are these beliefs in alignment with who you are in the world? Consider what is important to you outside of the way a body shows up to the world.
3. honor your genetic blueprint.
When it comes down to it, genetics have more to do with our body size and shape than anything else. Look at the bodies in your family. What have you inherited? What are you fighting against? Can you honor the long lineage that your body is fighting to settle into?
4. acknowledge the harm and the pain that disordered eating has caused you.
A gentle call-in: if it was not harming you, you wouldn’t be here. If it was maintainable, you wouldn’t be here. Our eating disorder therapists are sending you all the compassion for what you’ve experienced. Building body acceptance means realizing the harm disordered eating has created. This is an important step to recovery.
5. body acceptance could mean that you stop looking at the scale.
Toss it. Smash it. Hide it.
Do whatever you can to distance yourself from looking, tracking, making meaning out of a number that can’t possibly speak to all that you are.
When you’re tempted to get on the scale, ask yourself, “what am I looking for?” See if you can meet the need of the feeling you’re trying to achieve another way.
6. start doing what you’ve been putting off.
“I’ll travel when I lose “x” number of pounds.”
“Once I like my body I’ll start dating.”
“When I have it all figured out I’ll go for the promotion.”
You deserve these things now. Not when. Give yourself permission to start moving toward living the life you want in the here and now.
You can experience joy in this body, pleasure, success, and more in this body. Know that you deserve all of this. Your body deserves all of this. That is part of body acceptance.
7. redefine your values. shift toward them every chance you can.
What is most important to you? Has your eating disorder or disordered eating behaviors allowed you to immerse yourself and live in alignment with those things? Notice when you’re drifting away from living a value-driven life.
Deep breath.
Shift back.
8. dress yourself in ways that are comfortable and honor the body you’re in right now.
Those jeans you’ve been waiting to fit into? That dress you wore that one time and are desperate to wear again? Pack them up. Donate them. Put them out of sight.
Do whatever you need to do to stop worshipping a previous, restricted version of yourself. Affirm that you are worthy of being clothed, cared for, and expressing yourself through your wardrobe in the here and now.
9. stop body bashing and diet talk.
There’s no better time to set boundaries with people in your life. Opt-out of diet-talk. Share why and how it’s harmful. Ask to engage in conversations about things that light you up. Notice your own draw toward body-bashing. Choose compassion and body acceptance over judging your body and other people’s bodies.
10. find and engage with a non-diet, recovery-focused community.
A deep level of body acceptance and healing can happen when we are in community. We can learn from people who are 2 steps ahead, 2 steps behind, and in a similar place as us.
When we feel safe to be real, raw, and vulnerable, we have the opportunity to access the support we actually need, not what we assume we need.
Community allows you to feel and see, firsthand, that your story deserves to be heard. That you and your body deserve to be seen. That you aren’t wrong or crazy for experiencing a strong lure back to your eating disorder when faced with weight gain.
A community can help hold you up when you don’t feel like you have the strength to stand solo.
The road to body acceptance can be a challenging one.
and you can do hard things!
Acceptance and weight gain and a new version of your body certainly isn’t a linear path. It’s bound to bring up a lot. But, you deserve more than being bound to the trap of striving for smallness.
Again, a gentle reminder that you can do hard things. And that your body is, and always has been, a good body.
🧡,
Looking for Online Therapy Support with Body Acceptance and Disordered Eating in Pennsylvania?
We’re a group of eating disorder therapists who provide in-person sessions and online therapy in Pennsylvania for people struggling with eating disorders, body image, trauma, and grief and loss. We specialize in providing therapy for binge eating and helping people put an end to dieting cycles. We’re here to support you when you’re ready at Reclaim Therapy.