Reclaim You- How to Cope With Gaining Weight
Episode 23: Coping With Weight Gain with Laura
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In this episode of Reclaim You, Sarah and Laura dive deep into the challenging journey of coping with weight gain during the recovery process.
They discuss how difficult it is to accept this part of healing and how it can lead to true freedom and empowerment. Through their conversation, they explore the intersection of eating disorders and trauma, highlighting the need to create a safe space for both discomfort and self-compassion.
Tune in to gain insights into fat phobia, internalized biases, and ways to embrace change on the path to reclaiming your life from disordered eating and body shame.
Read more about accepting weight gain here.
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Sarah: Hi there. Welcome to Reclaim You, a podcast published by the Reclaim Therapy team. Join us as we share stories, tools, and insights on how to reclaim you in the wake of trauma, disordered eating and body shame. Grab your coffee, tea, or your favorite snack and get cozy because we're about to dive in. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of Reclaim You. Today, Laura and I are talking about a topic that pretty much mostly everyone we talk to could benefit from, I think, and that's how to cope with weight gain. So hey, Laura, how you doing?
Laura: I am good. Good to be here.
Sarah: Yeah. So I was kind of looking at the back end of our website, and I noticed that one of the blogs on the website that gets probably the most traffic is how to cope with weight gain. And it's quite a journey to cope with weight gain. So I thought it would be just an important conversation to have because those of us who are in recovery have to, for the most part, figure out a way to be with their bodies as our bodies change.
Laura: Yeah. The one thing none of us wants to talk about, but we all really need to, I guess.
Sarah: Where should we start in all of this? Because it feels like such a big one.
Laura: Maybe the place to start is to just it's going to happen, right? The ODS are it's going to happen. So if we can first step in there and anything that we might engage in in order to not make it happen is not conducive. That's not recovery work. That's going back to old ways. That's giving into the diet culture, into the eating disorder symptoms and thoughts and feelings. And it's a process, I think it's a continuing process. It's a daily process of saying, okay, like weight gain or my body changing. If that feels a little easier to accept at first, that as I heal, no doubt my body will change. Because for years I have been in a relationship with my body where it's been completely neglected in a lot of ways, where it's been my enemy and I've wanted to do it harm. And so we don't just one day decide, okay, I'm healed, I'm done. Right? Yeah. Those of us who are in recovery for a long time still because you can't go out the door of your house. You go out the door of your house, you step into diet culture, you go on your phone, you step into diet culture, you turn on the TV, you step in the diet culture, you open a magazine. There's nowhere that is completely, I think, safe of diet culture. Besides maybe a really good support group, a really good therapist and dietitian. We encounter these things each and every day. And I think that part of the healing process is just creating an inner dialogue, sort of like a reminder to ourselves that this is part of this process and coming to a place of and this is okay, it can still suck, right? It totally sucks and I think it's a both and this totally sucks and it's okay because this is in service to my healing, which is most important.
Sarah: Yeah. And it's so true that for, I guess generally, most people, that process of regaining weight or gaining weight or allowing your body to change and do what it needs to do does lead to freedom in lots of ways. And it's still really hard because of the culture that we live in, because the beliefs that we've been conditioned to hold on to that weight gain is bad, that fat is bad, all of these things, and there can be freedom around food and living your life on.
Laura: Your own terms, for sure. And eventually our hope, I think, in working with others, and certainly I can say my own lived experience has been that eventually that part of us that continues to scream my body is only or I'm only good if I lose weight. I'm only good if my body is smaller. I'm only good if I'm thin. Eventually that part, we do a lot of healing with that part. And it's not that we push it away and oust it, it's that we come into relationship with it and honor that it's there. But there's this larger part of us that we develop in recovery that is able to respond with compassion to that part of us and to show up and to say, hey, I get it. However, this feels really good to not have to worry about food all the time. It feels really good to not put my life on hold. It feels really good to wear clothes that fit me and not give a **** what's on the tag of them in terms of size. Right. To not have to squeeze myself into a pair of jeans because it says a certain number. And it feels really good to have space for me and for relationship and for joy that used to be taken up by this weight focused, thin focused part of me that never felt satisfied no matter how much weight I lost. I mean, that part's never going to be satisfied, right?
Sarah: Yeah, that's such an important point. I think that we can probably speak to that ourselves. And lots of the folks that we work with say that of like I look back in three years ago and I think like, oh my gosh, I wish that I had that body then. And at that point, looking back three years prior to that and saying, oh my gosh, I wish I had that body then. It's never enough, right? The weight loss is never enough. The body is never enough. Which points us to a larger piece of the work of if it's not about the body, what could it possibly be about?
Laura: Right, exactly. Yeah. The eating disorder symptoms they are symptoms. I think to me, that's information that points us toward there is something greater going on here. And for some of us, it's eating disorder symptoms that we begin to engage in in order to distract us from whatever the core issue is. It's a way that we cope, it's a way that we survive. And in our practice, we really work at the intersection of eating disorders and trauma. It's not just bodily trauma. Right. It can be trauma on so many different levels in so many different ways. And eating is the one thing that I can control. Exercise is the one thing I can control. And so before I know it and without really even thinking about it much, I don't think any of us makes the conscious decision, I'm going to have an eating disorder. Like, I decided that's what I want for my life.
Sarah: Right?
Laura: But over time and with the encouragement, if you will, of diet culture, we find ourselves in the throes of starving ourselves, binging, purging, over exercising and all the symptoms that we talk about when it comes to this.
Sarah: Yeah.
Laura: The whole time.
Sarah: Yeah, absolutely. And I think what's hard sometimes is when you gain weight, in some ways you do feel more of your body, right? You feel more, it feels different, it doesn't feel familiar. And eating disorders, they're numbing, right? They're numbing mechanisms. They disconnect us. And this kind of invitation to feel more, whether that's feel more of your body or feel more of your emotions, can just feel so destabilizing that it's like, I can't do this, combined with the belief of gaining weight is bad, fat is bad, all of these things. It can be like, I'm out. Like, I can't do this. I have to go back to not feeling.
Laura: Which I think in part speaks to why we see so much recurrence of eating disorders. Right? Like, the people, they get in recovery and then go back out into the world, maybe don't continue to get as much support as they need or what have you, or something else comes up in life, someone dies, some trauma happens, there's major stress in one's life. Whatever it is can lead us back to those symptoms because they're familiar and we're so habitually used, we're habitually using them for so long that to slip back into them is a lot easier than we'd like to admit. I think over time, there's a lot more space. There's a larger zone of tolerance and of insight and space and just awareness that we have to say, OOH, I'm feeling this. Like, this is coming up in me. But that's a long haul of recovery. Right? I worked in substance abuse counseling for years, and this idea that recovery is not just a once and done thing. Recovery is a choice each and every day. And I think it's here too.
Sarah: Absolutely. Yeah.
Laura: And that's not to discourage people, because I think sometimes we talk about that. And people are like, oh my God, I don't even want to. I get it. It's more like think about waking up each day and you get to empower yourself to reclaim your life. That's why we're here. We want to help people with that. And we're here because we all have worked on that in our own ways.
Sarah: Yeah, absolutely. And it feels like a lot of times the first step in this is even just like accepting that you don't want to gain weight, right? Like, instead of warring against yourself, like, I suck because I can't accept this, or what's wrong with me, why can't I to accept, man, I really don't want to accept that I'm going to gain weight. That feels really hard. That feels really uncomfortable and like sitting in some of the discomfort of that, which, again, sitting in the discomfort is uncomfortable and it's hard and it doesn't mean anything about you. Right. There's no moral judgment against it. It's just that we live in an obsessed world. An obsessed world with fitness. Like you said, there's diet culture everywhere we turn. A lot of times, family of origins weren't safe spaces for bodies to exist in. So it makes sense why you wouldn't want to.
Laura: Yeah. And that's, I think often where we start with folks, is just sitting in that discomfort. Right. I remember my own journey of recovery and just as a therapist and working with others in recovery, whether it be substance abuse, eating disorders, what have you, when people enter into the process, often the question is, well, how long is this going to take? Right?
Sarah: How many sessions?
Laura: Yeah, how many sessions? Or especially if they're going into a higher level of care, like, well, how long do I have to be here? And I get that, I've been there myself, but this is not a process that we jump into and things happen quickly. It's unraveling a lot of years of stuff that's been like, that we've been wrapped up in and trying to make sense of it. And the first step is just being able to be in our bodies a little. And we might not be able tolerate that for very long. But in the room, when we are sitting with our therapist, we can start to create as therapists, we can start to create that safe space for people to begin to drop into their bodies and just sort of, okay, I'm safe right now. And then, okay, when you're ready, let's move on out of it. And we have to build up that tolerance and then the other work as well. We do so both things, and it.
Sarah: Feels important to and maybe folks who are listening haven't maybe heard of fat phobia or internalized anti fat bias and just knowing that that's a thing to put some words around being phobic, of being fat. And again, without judgment, because we all have some fat phobia, right? And it's a lot of work to unravel that and to see how much of that still kind of remains inside and to do that with lots of grace and compassion for yourself. Because again, the culture that we live in just promotes it, to put some words to it, of, all right, this is what this is. This is some internalized phobia of being in a larger body, of being fat, of gaining fat, of being seen as fat. Because that would mean X, Y, and.
Laura: Z to me, for sure. Yeah, that's such a really good point. I think that just the word fat, right? To even say that word, for many people, it takes a while to get there, but this does live in us, and I work with folks around it to say, let's think of this. We do. A lot of parts work too. But if you imagine this as a part of you that has been present to try and protect you, but in this very dysfunctional way and how do we have compassion and appreciation for the fact that this part was there for us at times when we were struggling, at times when we didn't know any other way? Maybe that's an easier way to begin to sit with that part and honor that it's there and then eventually being able to call it what it is, right, and see how it is no longer needing to act in the way that it once did. You can have a break now, and I get every once in a while you're going to come and that's going to be a little sign that I need to come back to my center and find my way. But yeah, internalized fat phobia is so common and I think, too, it goes hand in hand. The one thing I thought about was so often we're also working with issues of perfectionism, right? And so that for me, even to admit that I have this internalized fear of fat, that's not okay, especially if I'm in recovery and I want to be a good client. I'm not going to bring that up. When my therapist want to talk about that, bring it up, talk about it needs to be talked about because if not, it's lurking in the background. And until we call that out and until we begin to sit with it and work with it, it's going to continue to get in the way.
Sarah: Yeah. And I think a lot of times there's so much judgment against yourself for having beliefs around the word fat, because then what does that mean about me thinking about other people? And if I think that about other people, then I must be awful and terrible and right then, it ties into worthiness and lovability and worthy of being with people in connection so it can get so deep. But to acknowledge and to accept like, yeah, I do have these beliefs about what it would mean. I do have these beliefs, even about other people sometimes. Sure, in a safe space there can be some exhale around it of you didn't create this at all. This was planted.
Laura: Yeah, planted and unfortunately nurtured to become this terrible life draining weed that just takes over one's life. Right. It's like poison ivy. But poison ivy I guess has its benefits, this doesn't, right?
Sarah: Yeah.
Laura: Although one could argue it was trying to have benefit when it was showing up. But I mean, that's like getting at a different level of this that maybe we don't need to yeah, let's just own it, call it out and let's sit with that and get comfortable with that. And we'll make space for other healing and healed parts of us to have more of a presence. But so often people are like, I just want this to go away, I want it to not exist. Well I mean, of course that's why we've been numbing out all these years.
Sarah: Right?
Laura: Now we're not going to be doing that. And it's hard. I mean, to stop using symptoms is really hard. Especially because now we're looking at stuff that is really difficult. And I don't have the tools that I knew how to use all these years, so we have to create new ones. And I always say to my clients, listen, if we have especially challenging session around a topic that is really just triggering in a lot of ways, that's really causing a lot of upheaval internally, I always say to them, listen, I don't want you to be surprised if you have the urge to use symptoms between now and next session. And I want you to know that that's okay. And we talk about why that is. And this is where you can practice your tools, use some other interventions. And at the end of the day, if you use symptoms, okay, what I want you to do is I want you to be honest about that with yourself and with me because then we have something to work with. If you're not honest about that, that's going to always be taking away from this work you're trying to do here in session. Right?
Sarah: It's like that shame is like lurking, lurking in the background, which is again related to body, which is related to gaining weight. Right. There's so much shame around it. And then keeping secrets because will you think of me knowing that I'm not doing this the way I quote unquote should or whatever that looks like for people? The shame again can be C stabilizing.
Laura: The same with the scale, right. So one of the things when it comes to weight gain that we talk about is weighing oneself, right? Which for so many of us is this ritual that we've engaged in for years, right. And in recovery programs, one of the activities that's often a part of that is some activity where we get rid of the scale. Right. Sometimes we're smashing the scale in some programs. Sometimes we're repurposing it in some way. But even if you're not stepping on that scale and it's still in your space, even if it's pushed under something where you can't see it every day, it's still lurking too. I feel like there are times when my scale is like, hello, right when I had it, because it took me a while to get rid of it when I was first in recovery, and I was like, oh. And even now, I'll be honest, I probably said this in a different podcast too. I go to a local gym and there's a scale in the women's room. And there are days when it's like, hi there. Don't you want to come in, sit down for a while? And how I look at it now in my healing space is, okay, this is another opportunity for me to strengthen this muscle that I don't need that, because that does not determine my worth, my value. And quite frankly, if I stepped on that and saw a number that I wasn't comfortable with, it could potentially derail all this work that I've done. So I think that getting rid of the scale is part and parcel of what we engage in. And that's a process. Some folks will just bring it to us and give it to us, and we'll hold on to it to them. Sometimes they want to take it back, sometimes they give it to us, then they go out and buy a new one. And I say to folks, be honest, when you step on the scale, let's talk about that and let's think about what was coming up in you. Let's talk about what led up to you stepping on the scale. What were the thoughts coming up, the emotions coming up? What were you feeling in your body? Right? Because once we get to understand the full scope of the ways that our bodies, our minds, our emotional centers, if you will, how they are showing up and have so much to tell us about how we're feeling, and we've been so cut off from them. So admitting to using symptoms, admitting to things that maybe you don't want to admit to, helps us then to be able to do the work around. Okay, so let's look at the signs that came up that maybe we missed and what can we do to give you support around them in the future?
Sarah: Yeah. And along with the scale conversation, there's also that purchasing clothes or finding clothes that feel comfortable on your changing body. Right? Because that can be a trip. I know we've talked about it on previous podcasts. But so important. And there is a level of privilege in that of being able to go out and buy new clothes in different sizes, which we totally understand. And when you can find clothes, whether it's just like sweatshirts and leggings for a while so that you can get used to what it feels like to actually feel comfortable in clothing. It can be really game changing.
Laura: I agree. Yeah. Clients of mine whom I work with, we sometimes work just with clothing sessions. Right. Like, we'll go through the closet together and work on trying on clothes and what that process is like, or what does it mean to let go of clothes that no longer fit us as opposed to keeping them in the closet just in case. Right. And you're right, it is an issue of privilege. And I think this is a tricky area. Right. Because on the one hand, most of us don't have this unlimited budget to go out and buy new clothes every time our body changes. On the other hand, if we're just providing ourselves with clothing that maybe we wouldn't buy otherwise, what does that say? Right. So I think it's finding that balance. And I talk with my clients, too, about if brand new clothes are not in your budget. Can we look at things like Poshmark or local consignment stores where you can buy some good quality stuff that feels good on your body, and you're treating yourself to that and honoring that your body deserves to wear nice clothes regardless of the size, right?
Sarah: Yeah.
Laura: And thank God. Now, there's a lot more availability of a variety of clothing for people at all different sizes, but there still is the issue of accessibility when it comes to some of these extended size. Collections are expensive.
Sarah: Yeah. And it's hard to imagine, okay, I'm in recovery, and I'm going to be gaining weight. The acceptance around that takes time. Right. But when you get there thinking, oh, ****, every time I go up a size, I have to buy a whole new wardrobe, right. That in and of itself can make you freeze and say, like, I can't do that. I can't afford that. And it's like, just, can we go one step at a time? Maybe it's not a whole new wardrobe. Maybe it's staples. Maybe it's just what you need to get through this season until you can figure out how you want to dress your body.
Laura: Exactly. What I started to work with was looking at it from the point of view of a capsule wardrobe. Right. Now, standard practice of capsule wardrobe is you buy a really swanky, expensive thing and you invest in it. It's investment clothing, but whatever, I'm going to spill something on it even if it fits into the rest of my life. Right.
Sarah: I don't even know what this is. This is a new shirt and it's not wet. It's just something I don't know, Chris, I've had for 2 hours.
Laura: It's so true.
Sarah: Right.
Laura: But you can that's what I did as I've been in this process, I'm like, okay, so what are those staple things? Like you said, leggings, like some tunics or sweatshirts where you can kind of move around in a few sizes and they're still going to work for you. And then you can add to it and buy a couple of things in that size that you feel comfortable in, that are affordable and bring them into it. So it's something as simple as like black pants or leggings. If you want to have a nice pair of dress pants that are pull on now, they have yoga pants that look like dress pants. Just wear stretchy stuff. I mean, hell, the pandemic if it taught us nothing and if we remember what it taught us, which is more of the issue, it's that I don't want to work feeling all uncomfortable. Be comfortable in your body. And for that reason, buy clothes that are going to be comfortable.
Sarah: And I'm thinking too, of just like doing things anyway. What I mean, I think is a lot of times we say I'll start XYZ when I lose ten pounds. I'll start going to the painting class when I feel more comfortable in my body and being seen or whatever it is. And this of course, sounds like, of course, yeah, just do that. It's hard. I get it. And being able to acknowledge like, I want to just hide away and not do anything, and I'm going to do the things anyway. I'm going to move my body in ways that feel joyful and connecting, even if I don't feel comfortable moving my body the way that it is. Right. Or I'm going to date, I'm going to go on dates, I'm going to put myself out there, and I'm terrified that I'm going to be rejected, and I'm going to do it anyway. Like not putting life on hold until a certain number in each season, your body's going to be different. And if you can start proving to yourself that it's okay in the here and now, that's really powerful.
Laura: Yeah. That becomes the narrative. Right. Because we are rewriting the narrative. Right. And so if the automatic narrative right now is that weight gain is bad, my body changing is bad, all that stuff. This every time we practice going out there and just claiming our lives for ourselves, regardless of where we're at, is an opportunity to reframe and rewrite that narrative. And you do that enough times, and then the narrative comes. It's written in you much more than it ever at first. It feels foreign, it feels strange. It feels like you're speaking a language with which you're unfamiliar. And we have to create safety around those exposures as well. Right. And that's where work with a therapist. Dietitian support groups can really help with those exposures because it's going to take some time before let's not expect that you're going to walk out the door to go to this thing that you haven't gone to for years and be okay with it in all ways. Shapes, forms. It's going to suck. It's going to be hard. But the more we do it, the more we want to do it. The easier it becomes.
Sarah: Yeah. And then sinking yourself into, say you go out to lunch with a friend, right, and you reconnect, and it feels really good, and you're engaged and you're connected, and there's just this, like, I can just be it feels just, like, so important to remember that, to hold that, because that's what's real, right? It's coming back to why people are in my life, why people are connected to me, how they make me feel, how I make them feel, right? What's in that is what's real. And that critical voice in the back of your head saying, no one will ever accept me. No one will ever love me. This is bad. This is gross, whatever it is. Can you hold both of, like, hey, little critical voice, check this out. I just went out to lunch with Laura, and we laughed, and we talked for hours, and it just felt so good. Like, look at what's yeah.
Laura: Yeah. And not once did we talk about food or diet culture. Like, there's so much more. I probably said this on a different podcast, but I remember my best friend, once I got into recovery, and I was really into this work and kind of woke up to, oh, my gosh, my whole life, I've been living in this nightmare, right, without even knowing it. And she was like, I never got people I never got people who talked about this stuff extensively would want to talk about their food choices over lunch and what diet they were on and what this and that and how they're cut. And she was like, there are so many more interesting things about us women, especially how many tables have we sat? Know? I think you and Abby talked about boundaries in a different podcast, which I certainly recommend to listen to that. But it is also know, finding a way to advocate for yourself, whether it's I'm going to step out of some situations where I know that people are going to be bringing that up, not because I'm depriving myself of it, because I don't feel strong enough right now, or I feel like I need a more supportive environment. So I'm going to give that to myself. But also then finding ways as well to find your voice and to be able to listen. This is not okay. Can we please not talk about this and move on to something else? And I think Abby did a really good job of talking more about that, but that's hard, too.
Sarah: It is hard. It is hard. And then the grief that's attached to all of it, right? I think we, of course, have to name that. There's so much grief in losing a body that you felt held so much value and so much meaning to you to lose that and to lose the ****** comments that are actually really ****** about how, quote, unquote, good you look or what are you doing? When really. You're struggling with an eating disorder, right? There's so much wound up in that loss and the loss of looking at the culture and saying, like, oh, ****, this isn't changing anytime soon. We're trying, but there's a lot of grief in looking at, like, yeah, this resilience that you're developing internally, it's important, and it really sucks that you have to develop it all at the same time.
Laura: And it's okay to feel angry about that. It's okay to feel frustrated about that. Let's talk about that, too. When we numb out, we're not feeling any of these feelings. And feeling the feelings isn't just about feeling the good feelings, right? It's about feeling all of them. And we work on doing that in a way that's approachable and safe. I think that at the end of the day, we can look at it as we can get stuck in the anger and be like, this world freaking sucks because I have to do this and screw everyone and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And some of us are I mean, the trope of the fat, angry woman often comes up when I'm working with clients, and no one ever wants to in any way give anyone any ammunition around that, if you will, like any evidence that they fit that criteria. And so we don't talk about those parts of us that are angry or frustrated, and I think that we, at least in the safety of the therapeutic environment, need to address those things, too.
Sarah: Yeah. Yes, of course. You're angry. I'm angry, too. Right? Look at what we're up against. We should be angry externally, right? It's like, all the anger you've pointed internally all these years, what would it be like to throw it where it belongs, right? Point it to the people, to the systems, to all of the things that are in place that we really need to be angry about.
Laura: Yeah. I was like, So let's harness that, right? Because anger, there's energy there, right? So anger, we think about fight or flight, right? Anger gives us that ability to fight. Right? So how do we honor your anger? Let you feel it? But is there also a way sometimes to harness that anger in such a way? To say, you know what? I can take this energy and I can transform it into energy that is empowering energy that allows me to step back into my life and reclaim my life and to say, you know what? I don't need to carry this anger anymore in that way, because that takes away from our lives too, but I still need to have the time to sit with it, and, yeah, I could sit here for the rest of my life and be like, this world ******* sucks, and blah, blah, blah, blah. Why do I have to do this? But who's, that hurting? It's hurting me. It's not helping anything. So, yeah, to be able to say, you know what? I'm going to just honor and accept that that's how this world is, that I will do what I can in my own ways with my gifts, to change it as I'm able, whether it's my little small corner of the world on a larger level. And I'm not going to let that dictate to me how I live my life each and every day. I'm not going to let it continue to steal life from and there you are, right?
Sarah: Reclaiming your life.
Laura: Yeah, exactly. We could do a whole nother podcast on this, right? Maybe we will.
Sarah: Maybe we will.
Laura: Yeah. I think, though, to come back to weight gain, the first step is your body is going to change in recovery. And we don't know where it will land. We have no idea. And it's terrifying, it's frustrating, but it's possible to be able to live through that and to, in that process, find something much more meaningful, a deeper value, a deeper belief in oneself, a deeper joy. And you could be living in your largest body ever and still live a life that's completely different than it was when you were in your eating disorder. And all of that factors so much more into the quality of your life than the size of your body. And, yeah, we're going to encounter it. There's going to be seats that we can't fit in or there's going to be spaces that are too small, or there's going to be people who are ******** and make comments because people are ******** and make comments. Right. Over time, we develop a flexibility within ourselves and a tolerance within ourselves and a strength within ourselves to be able to encounter that without letting it take from us that which we've worked so hard to build through recovery.
Sarah: Feels like a good place to end. What a beautiful take home.
Laura: Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's my take home. At least it's beautiful for me.
Sarah: It's helped me. Yeah.
Laura: I'd be happy to talk more. I mean, there's other things we could talk about as well. And if folks want to hear more about this and talk more about this yeah, let us know. We're happy to engage in these discussions if there's other topics that are on your mind as well. Know that there are people here and elsewhere that get it and understand it and want to sit with you as you discern how it is you want to enter into this process of healing when you're ready.
Sarah: Yeah. And just to plug our practice a little bit, it's something that I think is so cool about our practice, is that the bodies of our team, right, there's such diversity in the bodies. And I think that it's so beautiful because I guess the traditional expectation of eating disorder providers of what you see on the Internet are thin white women. And while, yes, we all are white women, our bodies are all quite diverse, which I think is so cool. So our team gets it in different ways, each individually, which I feel like is just really special.
Laura: For sure. Yeah. I think especially for clients of mine with whom I work. Well, let me put it this way. I had to work extensively with my therapist, my dietitian, to come to a point where I could own, like, yeah, I am a fat provider and my body is still changing because I'm still in recovery. And quite frankly, because that's what bodies do. They change to adapt, they change to situations. Right. But the fact that someone can walk into a space and sit with someone who more accurately represents the body that they're in, whatever that body is, I think means a lot to a lot of people. And some people are scared to say that in the intake. Even they might not admit that. Or if I have folks going into groups, they'll be like, is everyone just going to be like a skinny person who's talking about not eating? Because that's not my issue. Right. And I think it's important that we're honest about that stuff, too. Like, listen, it would be really helpful for me to work with someone who looks more like me, if that's possible. Right. And that's not in any way to say that someone who doesn't look like you couldn't help you. They would be amazing and phenomenal. But if that creates the safety and the security you need, okay, let's make sure that we take that into account.
Sarah: Yes. And there is a different lived experience, right? My experience recovering into a thin body is vastly different than your experience recovering into a fat body. So, yeah, there is a difference. And people I think there is a lot of safety in that. Right.
Laura: Yeah. And we might not have the lived experience, but we certainly have the compassion. Because at the end of the day, at the heart of this, it's not about the food, it's not about your size, it's not about your weight. It's about some really deep seated wounds within us that need a lot of time and a lot of care and the right safe place to be able to begin to heal.
Sarah: Well, thank you, Laura.
Laura: Thank you.
Sarah: All right, everyone. We hope that this was helpful. There's, of course, lots that we could say about this topic, and if that would be supportive, we will carry, you know, let us know. And yeah, we can keep chatting about this, but we'll be back next week with another episode, and until then, take good care of yourself. Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Reclaim You. Be sure to, like, comment and subscribe and check us out on YouTube at reclaim you. If you're looking to start therapy for trauma disordered eating or body image concerns, head over to our website at WW reclaimtherapy.org to learn more about us and our work. We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, take good care of yourselves.
Reclaim therapy provides eating disorder treatment in Horsham, PA, body image counseling and Trauma Therapy in Pennsylvania.
We are a group of body image and eating disorder therapists in Pennsylvania who provide specialized eating disorder therapy near me, EMDR for trauma and complex PTSD in Horsham, PA. We are passionate about helping people reclaim their lives from body image issues, diet culture and trauma.
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