Reclaim You- Boring Self Care… We’re Here For It!
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In this episode of Reclaim You, Sarah and Casey chat about the simple, everyday self-care practices that often get overlooked. We discuss the realities of self-care when life is demanding, and really just... lifey.
From the joy of showering, to the pleasures of baking and embracing the beauty of imperfection, we share our own experiences and offer practical insights for finding compassion in the small moments. Join us as we reclaim the power of self-care in its most authentic and accessible forms.
Remember, it's not about what you "should" do, but what truly feels good for you. So, grab a cup of coffee, tune in, and reclaim the magic in the ordinary.
Thanks for listening to Reclaim You with Reclaim Therapy!
To learn more about Reclaim Therapy and how to work with a therapist on the team, head to www.reclaimtherapy.org.
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Sarah: Hi there. Welcome to Reclaim You, a podcast published by the Reclaim Therapy team. Join us as we share stories, tools, and insights on how to reclaim you in the wake of trauma, disordered eating, and body shame. Grab your coffee, tea, or your favorite snack and get cozy because we're about to dive in.
Sarah: Come back to reclaim you. Casey is back today. Hello.
Casey: Hey.
Sarah: Today is Friday. We're recording on a Friday. So happy Friday to Casey.
Casey: Woo. Happy Friday.
Sarah: Happy Friday. How you doing this Friday afternoon?
Casey: It's been a long week.
Sarah: It has.
Casey: Oh, I'm tired. How are you?
Sarah: I'm feeling a little tired myself. I had a week of solo parenting, so on day five, and my husband comes back tonight, so yay, very exciting. Yes. So I am tired too, but yeah, we were just talking about imperfection and how it's okay to be imperfect.
Casey: Yes. Even in those times where we might have obligations and we have things that we need to do. Right. Something like this, we're like recording. We show up for each other in an imperfect way.
Sarah: Right.
Casey: The weeks are long.
Sarah: You get caught up in the hustle. You get caught up in the bustle and the pressure and the performing. And I think part of this whole Reclaiming You process is acknowledging like, oh, here I am. I'm caught up in the should. I'm caught up in the go. Go. Perform. Perform. Be perfect. Be on all the time and like, taking a step back and saying, wow, I have some options here.
Casey: Which Friday afternoon is a really good time to have some space to figure that out.
Sarah: Yes.
Casey: Oh, when no one's needing me anymore, when the phone stops ringing, when I leave the office or I leave my office room, I become myself. Or you have the option to become yourself again.
Sarah: Yeah. And what supports you to do that? To become yourself? The touch back into yourself.
Casey: Which we all know is tricky. Right. We all know that's tricky. I think something that is very important to me, and it became a routine for me when I got into hospice work was that I took a shower right when I got home. Like, where there's a will, there's a way I will get in that shower if it is life or death. And that is what I've done every single day for years. And to the point where everybody knows, don't bother me, I'm showering and it feels so good.
Sarah: I love that.
Casey: Like, so good. Me time. Get the funk off from the day. Get a time to just listen to the shower, the water. Right. Using your favorite body wash, or if you haven't washed your hair in a couple of days, because that's me rubbing that scalp. Right. So a mix of self care, but also just like daily hygiene, it's like making it represent something that maybe you didn't allow it to or didn't see as a way to represent it before. So that's one of mine. I love that you have a favorite one of separating as you end your professional world.
Sarah: After seeing clients, I like to sometimes do a little bit of shaking, like, shake some of the holding of overwhelm the holding of hard things of other people's suffering. I like to just kind of, like, clear my energy, leave it here in the room. It's hard because it still kind of stays with you. Right. We walk out the door, and it's like, oh, the person I just saw is no longer on my mind. Right, but how can you integrate you also into holding that suffering? Because we care so deeply about our people, love them, think about them, root for them on the weekends when we're not in contact. Right. But I like to do some shaking of, like, okay, a new part has to be in charge right now. Therapy part not in charge anymore. Mom part on. Right. So even just, like, little things little things like that, I think can be supportive of just shifting and giving permission for something else to take up some space in my awareness. Even though sometimes it's hard and I think more about my clients than what's going on in the downstairs. I don't know. It's tough.
Casey: Yeah. It's a different experience that I get to hear from your life is being a mom and how your roles constantly are changing. Right. And sometimes I don't have a role to fit into. Right. Like, yeah. I'm tempted to take care of my husband and take care of my animals and check in on my friends or my family and realizing that that's not what I have to do, it's what I choose to do. Because I can be the person who gets out of my office and starts running around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to take care of everything that I miss today, that somebody is missing from me. Right.
Sarah: Like, allegedly expecting from you. Right. Yeah.
Casey: Right. Expecting of me. Right. That I have failed miserably by being in my office working and not doing all those things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Right. But I think whether it's the mom role or just being a caregiver in general right. Like, we care so much for people that that I think is one of the more challenging things for me to turn off is waiting and asking for someone to take care of me is a hard thing, or I just need to take care of myself. Both of those are challenging. Right. Because what the hell does that even mean, right. Taking care of yourself. Right. And I think it's taken me a long time, and I'm still really bad at it. Same really bad. Same authenticity, everybody. Authenticity. All right. It's rough out here sometimes.
Sarah: Sure is.
Casey: But I think what is most helpful for me recently is having something particularly that I enjoy during each season. So for the summer, gardening is my thing. So tending to it, being outside, I can care for something that really gives me something in return very quickly. And that's helpful in the fall because I'm a fall girly. I decorated for Halloween last week.
Sarah: I'm like, we all are.
Casey: I saw that you had and I'm like, yes. I love it. But the spooky lights and the ambiance on the TV and a nice cup of coffee and taking an hour to read, that's what I enjoy doing. And then in the wintertime, it's baking, and then in the springtime, it's going outside on walks or going to places I've never been. So for people out there who struggle with hobbies or finding things to do, it's like trying something each season, right. And having some flexibility there might be helpful. I noticed that. It's been helpful for me.
Sarah: Yeah. One thing you forgot to mention in the fall season is zombie babies.
Casey: Zombie baby.
Sarah: Okay. So everyone listening is probably like, what are they talking about? What are zombie babies? And they're zombie babies. They're these little doll things at Spirit Halloween that are baby zombies. And my kids are obsessed with them. Obsessed with them. Carry them around, take care of them, bring them to every store we go to, swing with them, slide with them, the whole nine.
Casey: So precious.
Sarah: I love it.
Casey: If that doesn't give you serotonin, I don't know what does.
Sarah: I'll have to post a picture.
Casey: Please keep posting these to your feed because it made my day the other day. I couldn't tell you. I did reach out to you and tell you it was precious. And thinking about the sensory things of the season we're in, right fall, like nostalgic smells and colors and food and drinks and activities and honoring those by, I don't know, like, if you want to bake one. I made pumpkin apple muffins the other day because I wanted to put all the things right, like all of the flavors. And then, I don't know, getting pumpkin spice creamer because it makes you happy, stuff like that. Like bringing things into your home that bring you a sense of peace or groundedness or joy and using them. Are you a candle burner?
Sarah: I am a candle burner, yes.
Casey: That is one every night.
Sarah: Yes. It's just like it does something to me, the scent, what it brings back. Right? It's just like I can breathe a little bit more easily.
Casey: Oh, that's so good.
Sarah: Even food, cooking, baking, there's so much there in terms of noticing what you need, how you need to care for yourself. Of course, feeding yourself is probably the most important way to ever take care of yourself, but it taps into such a sensory experience that can be so incredibly regulating and connecting and grounding all of the things.
Casey: Yes. I mean, I've read there's been a decent amount of studies, actually, in regards to culinary exploration and mental health impact, which I find incredibly fascinating because it wasn't something that I thought too much about for many years. I grew up in a family of a restaurant manager and a chef. And so I grew up around cooking constantly. And so it's just something I remember sitting in a restaurant my mom worked at. I lost my first tooth there and I used to sit at the bar and read Miss Piggle Wiggle. So it was kind of like very comforting for me to get back into the kitchen after being in college and not really having the energy to cook. So me and my husband do so much cooking and thinking about things that you like spices that tell your story, being able to share a meal with someone or just doing something to make your life easier, like cooking something to have it ahead of time or things like that. And baking is a whole other beast, but has different benefits because baking is precise. So baking is a little less creative. I mean, if you're decorating and stuff, that's one thing. But being able to do something that is very precise and particular, I think can strengthen a big part of our brain that is being mindful of measurements and putting things together and following a list that I could see it as like a healthy form of dissociation at times. Right. And then sometimes being mindful. So it could be like a double service right there in a way.
Sarah: Weaving in and out.
Casey: In and out.
Sarah: Yeah. And then you have your favorite size, right? Like it's follow the recipe, you do the thing. There's containment there.
Casey: Yes. And that also includes you don't have to make it from scratch either. Like doing a box mix is fine. Doing, I don't know, like frozen meals where you like or hello fresh or those types of things that that is still cooking, that is still exploring with your hands and with your senses and realizing that there's a spectrum of cooking and a spectrum of baking and a spectrum of gardening and a spectrum of many different hobbies. And I think releasing yourself from the perfectionism of what these things have to look like, your self care, your taking care of yourself, that you can get so wrapped up in it that you don't do anything. And then who's that helping, right? Nobody? I'm sure we've all done it once or twice or seven times. I don't know.
Sarah: Oh, sure, of course. And it's this interesting balance, right? Self care. Of course it's necessary, we all know this. And acknowledging what you're needing to self care about, I don't know if that makes sense. But you're lonely and you're feeling isolated, right? Maybe the need is connection, solid connection. So being able to take care of yourself through that avenue and not just like going to take a bubble bath by yourself because maybe that's not going to work.
Casey: Right.
Sarah: That's not hitting the need.
Casey: That's a really good point, and I think it makes me think of a quick trick for people to try if they're struggling with that, because society, social media, diet, culture can tell us what we need. Right. You need to do this, and this is the thing to do. And it's not always, but it also means that you're getting to know yourself in that way. You're trusting your intuition. You're building that relationship with yourself, which you heard in all the other episodes, is continually getting lost from all of these things that have impacted our lives. I ask my clients to ask themselves three questions. How do you feel emotionally? How do you feel in your body? And what would feel good to take care of all of those? So it's very individualized. You might feel sad, but in your body, you feel mellow. It's like, maybe you just need to embody that sad and watch a sad show and feel that. Feel it move with the feeling with it, embody it. Right. But there might be that you're sad and you feel, like, the urge to isolate. Maybe that's an invitation to reach out to somebody, that maybe you need that connection. Or there's multiple ways to look at that. You might just feel really freaking fantastic, and maybe you want to share that with somebody. You want to pay it forward. So those three questions, write them down, put them in a notebook, put them in your phone. I think it's a good thing to do a couple of times a day even.
Sarah: Same again in case it was missed.
Casey: How am I feeling emotionally, number one? Number two, how am I feeling in my body, number three, what would feel good to take care of those two things? It can be something small. It could be something big. It can be something in between.
Sarah: Yeah.
Casey: I think it's a reminder for both of us to ask ourselves those questions.
Sarah: That's the truth. That's the truth.
Casey: Darn it.
Sarah: We got exposed into the weekend.
Casey: Just kidding. It's a good reminder.
Sarah: And maybe when self care isn't accessible, right? Thinking of myself not to make it all about me, but thinking, make it about you. Sometimes all I want to do is go to Target, walk the aisles by myself, maybe engage in some impulsivity. Maybe I feel like, I don't know, whatever. But I can't do that all the time, right? Like, maybe I want to read a book that's not a therapy book. Maybe I want to have some alone time. And it's not accessible on weeks like this week when I was solo parenting all week, right. Just wasn't accessible. So that acknowledgment of, like, my cup is getting very full. I'm not going to ignore that. My cup is almost overflowing. I'm going to address this in little ways throughout the week so I don't overflow. Right. And now that the weekend is here and I have my husband's home. My priority is now like, okay, how can I take care of myself? To best take care of myself first and then to take care of the people that I am responsible for and that I love and care about.
Casey: Yes. That is something that's so important to touch on. And I'm glad you shared that because there are thinking about some of this stuff, depending on what it is, right. Some of it is just regular hygiene, regular doing of life, and then some of it is extra. But recognizing that those two things can still feel like a luxury in some circumstances in your life, and that really needs to be validated. That if we are feeling really depressed, taking a shower every day might not be the self care that you need, and it might not be the self care that you can do right. If you don't have the resources to do certain things. I want to give a lot of compassion to that because it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It actually means that you're honoring where you're at in your life and being flexible in doing something that serves you. And that's why this self care that has gotten so mainstream can bring a lot of shame to people because there is only these few ways to do it, when in reality I tell my clients, if you're showering every other day and you're brushing your teeth once a week, that's fantastic. You just have to be really kind to yourself. And I can't imagine even doing those little things of self care this week if I was you. That sounds really hard. So think about how much strength it takes to do that too. Yeah, that's a lot. That's so important. Self care is a luxury sometimes to.
Sarah: All the single parents out there, I just have to say you are yes, badass. Yes, badass. You are badass.
Casey: Badass. And if someone hasn't told you that, please know that wholeheartedly we are your cheerleaders. Yeah. And I think that the thing that I noticed the most for me is the difficulty in socializing as a self care. Or I tend to look at it as an obligation, as terrible as that sounds. Right? And am I not giving myself compassion in this moment?
Sarah: Maybe catch my maybe you're also being like super authentic. Both exist.
Casey: Do you see? We're all continuing to work on ourselves. I struggle with that a lot. I feel like all I want to do on the weekends is just be completely alone and realizing over time I've explored what that is. And what I've noticed is that I still feel the pressure to be the person I am with clients, with the people that I care about, because I do care about them. And so my brain has a really hard time shutting off that I can continue to be authentic in this different role. And it doesn't have to be the same, right? And that has been really healing for me. So I think for people who are noticing that they want to isolate a little bit more and it's not for depression reasons or things like that, thinking about what am I expecting of myself in this moment? And maybe I need to start entertaining, letting go of some of that really rigid belief and now I have a little bit more fun socializing love.
Sarah: That really I think it is that maybe not the glamorous self care. Right. That instagram or TikTok. I'm not on TikTok, so I don't really know. Right. All of these places share, but these ways to boring self care. Boring self care. Things that are just going to bring you into a little bit closer zone of some sort of geese or spaciousness feels just probably the most important. Sometimes you're going to be able to do the big stuff. Right?
Casey: Right.
Sarah: Life is just lifey. You're often maybe not going to be able to despite wanting to. Right. Intentions are always wonderful. And what are the little things that you can do? Little teeny tiny baby steps that are your entry point into some more spaciousness inside.
Casey: And I feel like every podcast episode we do, we come back to that, right? It's like, how to take that little well, because it's freaking important is what it is. Right. We take this little nugget of what can I do to be in touch with myself, to have compassion for myself and not have these high expectations. And sometimes your self care will be I will go to bed as soon as everyone is taken care of. Right, yes. And sometimes it's I go on vacation and whatever's in between is totally okay and fine as long as it feels good to you. I always ask my clients, does it feel good or is it something you feel like you should be doing? Be aware of that. If it feels good and it feels authentic, then that's right.
Sarah: That's correct for you and your body. Yes, exactly.
Casey: So we're going to do that this weekend.
Sarah: We are. We're going to reclaim that ****.
Casey: We're going to reclaim it. We're going to come back to ourselves. We're going to be compassionate and we'll report back and see how it went, balls and all. You'll get a report back.
Sarah: You will. Feels like an important conversation. Self care is so important, right? Acknowledging that you have needs, addressing them in all these different ways, whether it's baking or going for walks or smelling a candle, meeting with a friend, choosing to be by yourself, taking a nap.
Casey: Yeah, I might do that tonight. Well, I hope you have a wonderful weekend with all of the extra help you're going to feel like you have tonight.
Sarah: Thank you.
Casey: And just do something kind for you.
Sarah: Yes, I think I will. It might just be like playing with the zombie babies, but that's still fun.
Casey: That sounds fantastic.
Sarah: I'll send you a picture.
Casey: I love it. Please do. I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting for it. It's going to be so good.
Sarah: All right, everyone, that's what we have for today. We hope that it was helpful or supportive, authentic. We're rooting for you.
Casey: Yeah. We're all in it. We're all doing it.
Sarah: Okay. We will be back next week with Abby for another episode, so we will talk to you then.
Sarah: Thank you so much for joining us on this episode of Reclaim you. Be sure to, like, comment and subscribe and check us out on YouTube at reclaim you. If you're looking to start therapy for trauma disorder, hurt eating, or body image concerns, head over to our website@www.reclaimtherapy.org to learn more about us and our work. We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, take good care of yourself. Our.
Reclaim therapy provides eating disorder treatment near me, trauma therapy in Pennsylvania and body image counseling in Horsham, PA.
We are a group of trauma therapists in Pennsylvania who provide specialized eating disorder therapy near me, complex PTSD therapy and EMDR for trauma in Horsham, PA. We are passionate about helping people reclaim their lives from disordered eating,childhood trauma and body image issues.
We would love to support you as you Reclaim YOU and the life that you undeniably deserve.